Tori Amos is my favorite singer, musician, wonder woman... you name it! She has a tremendous passion for music and you can sense its importance to her in everything she creates. "Playing is the only place where I've felt in touch with my sexuality, my spirituality, and my emotions, and never, ever, ever anywhere else. So my life is a bit tricky because when I'm not playing, I'm just trying to walk down the street." A child prodigy, Tori was playing the piano at age two and a half, and by four was composing her own songs. At age five she became the youngest student ever accepted to the prestigious Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore. The idea was for her to become a concert pianist. That, however, did not happen. She was kicked out of the conservatory when she was 11 because she refused to be molded into a classical pianist. She wanted to play her own music. "Why would I want to play stuff written by some dead guy?" Soon her father, a Methodist minister, was chaperoning her as she played standards in local gay bars. At 21, the rebellious Tori moved to Los Angeles and had a brief stint as a hard rocker in the band Y Kant Tori Read, after being told repeatedly that the "girl and the piano thing" would never work. The album they recorded failed miserably, but Tori did not sulk. Instead, she returned to her first love and best friend, the piano. She began to write songs that were painfully personal, intimate, and honest stories about her life. One such revelation is "Me and a Gun," a song about being raped, which she wrote after seeing a movie: "I went to see Thelma & Louise, alone, on a whim, and my life changed. When Susan Sarandon killed the would-be rapist, I breathed for the first time in seven years." That song ultimately became a therapeutic tool for her to overcome her own experience of being raped, as well as a cathartic song in the lives of thousands of women who had had similar experiences. Tori eventually helped found RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, which was the first toll-free national hotline for survivors of sexual abuse. Tori continues to be an outspoken advocate for helping victims of rape, by giving interviews to TV programs about her experience, continuing to support RAINN, and performing "Me and a Gun" in concert before thousands of teary-eyed admirers. Her courage and honesty have helped countless survivors of sexual abuse deal with problems in their own lives, have raised awareness about the issue, and have made other survivors know that they are not alone.
It is clear that Tori's accomplishments and dedication with respect to this issue make her an amazing woman. But that is not the half of it. Aside from her public service, and indeed before she did any of that, there has been the music. When Tori returned to the piano, she finally listened to herself. She did not care whether the record executives liked her music, whether the public would like it, or whether it would be commercially successful or anything. She just listened to her heart and began to use music as therapy. She wrote about her true emotions and experiences, and she used the medium that had been with her virtually all of her life: the piano. The result of this emotional outpouring was Little Earthquakes, her first solo album. It steadily gained critical acclaim from people in the music business, and, more importantly, gained the attention of a loyal fan following that at first made her a cult figure but has over the years made her one of the most successful and beloved female singer/songwriters of the past decade. What has drawn so many people to her? Just listen to her music. Sure, some people can't stand her esoteric lyrics and style. Yes, she is "out there." She thanks the faeries on all her albums. She talks about reincarnation. That at first caused some critics to dismiss her as a new age flower child or something... but the truth is that it doesn't matter. The music speaks for itself. The meaning of her lyrics might not be crystal clear, but her words are beautiful nonetheless. She sings (and openly talks) about religion (being raised in a strict Methodist home, religion was always a major part of her life - whether she liked it or not), rape, friendship, relationships, sex, tribal female circumcision, masturbation - she holds nothing back. She is extremely honest. So there's the subject matter of her songs. Then there is her voice. That voice! And of course, first and foremost there is the piano. She does not treat the piano as mere accompaniment. She makes it her partner, her alter ego in a way. She lets it speak for her, much as the character Ada did in the movie The Piano, or at least that's how I feel. Her pianism is exquisite and rare in the world of pop music. She has tremendous respect and love and passion for the piano. Her second solo effort, Under The Pink, is perhaps the best evidence of this. On her next album, Boys For Pele, she added the harpsichord, clavichord, and harmonium to the mix. Believe me, you don't hear a harpsichord in a pop song every day! With each album Tori explores new sides of herself, adding more instruments, originality, and means of expression. On her next albums, From The Choirgirl Hotel and To Venus and Back, Tori added a band. Strange Little Girls was a concept album covering songs that were originally written by men. Her more recent efforts include Scarlet's Walk and American Doll Posse. She found great personal happiness when she married her sound engineer Mark Hawley in 1998, and in 2000 they had a daughter together. As Tori's style continues to develop, she becomes more and more unique and she continues to win over fans and critics alike. She did not compromise with the record company, she did not write songs that she thought would be played on Top 40 radio - she did her own thing. And it finally paid off. She has gotten the recognition she has always deserved as a bold, often rebellious, and truly unique voice of modern music.
Tori's amazing qualities don't end there, however. Her ideas on patriarchal religion are right in line with When God Was a Woman, and specifically relate to the false shame that women have been forced to feel since Christianity began to flourish. Growing up in such a stifled environment, Tori used music as a way to express herself. The piano became her outlet and refuge, and it remains that to this day. "If I couldn't play, I've no idea what kind of bitter person I would've become. Because that's where I was able to express some kind of freedom without guilt. Guilt for passion." Although she pokes fun at patriarchal religion in her songs, it is clear that religion is a big issue with her and always has been. Her Cherokee grandfather's beliefs are important to her. "He was the one that began to really kind of remind me of 'the old ways,' whether you talk about it in Celtic mythology or Egyptian mythology or Native American, the belief that it's the balance of male and female energy, that they are equal, that the word does not just pass through the patriarchy." Tori believes that Western religion has had a devastating effect on women's sexuality. This in turn has influenced her music. "If we were going to use a term to describe my music, it would have to be 'theology of the feminine.'" The root of her opinions centers around Mary Magdalene. The following is a compilation of quotes she has made that I have edited together to sum up Tori's thoughts on the matter. "Mary Magdalene had great wisdom. She wasn't just the 'Whore of Babylon.' Many scholars believe that Mary Magdalene was a high priestess who came from the cult of Isis. She was a peer to Jesus." Tori believes Magdalene to be a very passionate being and even a blueprint for women which, unfortunately, was never passed down. "Mary Magdalene is really someone who has made the church very uncomfortable. That is why you have two Marys in the Bible: one that is very sexual, and one that is virtuous and spiritual, cut off from her sexuality. In doing so, they take away all her wisdom. It should be about a wholeness, but it's about division. So instead of people having to align with one or the other, the Marys need to become married - joined together. In my own faith system, I've tried to marry the Marys together so that the Mother Mary's sexual being isn't circumcised from her any more and Mary Magdalene's wisdom isn't circumcised from her. If the bride [Magdalene] had been acknowledged, there would have been honor of the Feminine. There wouldn't have been patriarchy as we know it or matriarchy. There would have been balance." One of her songs, "God," deals with these issues. The refrain in that song is: "God, sometimes you just don't come through/Do you need a woman to look after you?" Tori explains: "The God-force must be feminized, perceived more as a God-Goddess. Jesus, his mother, 'his church' all must be redefined. Especially a figure like Mary Magdalene, who I and so many Christian women were taught to despise, because she was a prostitute. Because of that we had great problems coming to terms with the prostitute in ourselves, which again, is something the Church teaches us to deny. That whole song is about calling forth a Goddess. It was very liberating for me to write 'God.' To be able to say, 'Hang on a minute, buddy. Sit down here. You got to be held accountable.' The female Goddess who has been our role model has been the Virgin Mary, a sexless being. And people don't really think about how that affected an entire planet, to have the most populated religion worshipping a sexless being! Especially when it was such a turnabout from early religions of the Middle East where the Mother Goddess was worshiped as the life-giving ruler of creation. Women held the power until the myth of Adam and Eve was created with all its guilt-inducing nuances and suddenly the male-dominated religions made it the woman's fault that the human race lost paradise. Our ancestresses let them get away with upsetting the status quo and have paid for it ever since. There is a level where humans have been taught that they are so unworthy and incapable. What I try to inspire in my work is that we are capable. That energy force is within, and we're all connected to it. I believe completely in the great spirit. I'm not a part of institutionalized religion because it's a controlling force that just keeps you powerless, and it keeps you away from what's really going on. You're just plasma walking around making a lot of noise." Tori does make a lot of noise about all sorts of things, but trust me, there's a lot more substance to her than just plasma! |